Haita Onni

[Journal - Filtered from Hoshi]

A question for all of you.

What is right: To have someone's best interests at heart, or to let them be happy no matter what?

*Insert screenshots of tomboyish-star.livejournal.com/69575.html *

There. Now will all of you shut the fuck up and leave me alone about it!?

-------------------

[Event]

*Guess which nameless nerd is at the cliffs again, his brown hair ruffled as he's been scratching the back of his head almost compulsively. He tosses some rocks off the cliff, before rummaging into his pocket and pulling out a pair of twenty-sided dice. One blue, one red.

...He makes the motion to toss them off the cliff and into the waters below, but stops just short, the frustration in his movements fading as he just stares at the dice with an almost nostaligic gaze.

Come bother him.*

Update: *It's nighttime, and he's still by the cliffs, but instead he's throwing stuff from several boxes - swords, shields, replica swords, pieces of medieval armor, pretty much any LARP thing Onni brought with him to the island he's throwing off the cliff and into the water.*

...I just realized that, in addition to Jean and Hoshi, my birthday is in a couple of months.

....I didn't really do much out of the ordinary for a 16-year-old, I think.

...Maybe I'll try again before my birthday to go to Blue. I'm a second year, after all... still trying to tune up my deck.

...Hm hm hm...  Maybe I should hunt our a couple of other Synchros to splash into this, besides Gigantech, Goyo, and the three Warrior synchros... oh, and Arms Aid.

[Private to Self]

....I'm going to rematch Alexandra and win.. I... I won't be afraid of Icarus.. I'll stand up, and they'll know that I'm stronger than they think.

I.. should probably start figuring out how to use this power, too.

[Private to Noriko-sensei]

Oh, I might have forgotten to tell you - my plan worked.

Heh...  Hoshi really was awesome, I think me being there definitely helped her get rid of some of the stress she'd been feeling lately. I think she just needed some time to cool off and, with a little bit of help from yours truly, I think she's a llot better off than she was the other day.

And, hell, I felt awesome just being there!

Excuse me for this, but I have something to discuss with the staff.

Recently, my significant other - Hikari Hoshi - had been given detention, one count of being rude to a teacher, and one count of having consumed alcohol.

The former is -quite obviously- related to the latter, which I will now explain.

Thanks to screenshots another staff member -who may confirm here if they so wish the validity of said screenshots -, and a post you can probably see for yourselves, it was not Hoshi's fault that she was drunk last night. Her drink was apparently 'spiked' with strong alcoholic beverages without her knowledge.

Who did this?

Futaba Shiroko. However. I have conversed with her, and she is apologetic. She - apparently - was not in the right state of mind yesterday evening, which resulted in her uncharacteristic actions, which include the aforementioned spiking of Hoshi's drink, as well as sexual advances toward Hoshi.

I do not request an abolishing of all punishment, but lessening them to a reasonable amount, due to circumstances that were beyond both Hoshi and Shiroko-san's control.

Excuse me... would anyone know where Hoshi is? She hasn't been in the room since last night...

....I... I guess we did survive the end of the world, after all....

...but... Ryuuji-san.... damn. My heart goes out to all whole knew him well.

I suppose I should be happy we survived but... I.. don't feel like it, Ii just feel.. I dunno.

Private to Jean and Hoshi

...C...can you two please stay by me for these next few days? I... I don't care if the end oof the world is over... I...

I don't want to lose you guys...

Please... stay by me... I... I just want you guys by my side these next few days.....

please...

...Huh. This is strange.

I've always been happy living my life for others. Doing selflessly what others would ask favors in return. Helping those without a second thought.

But... Hoshi and Jean are moving forward, and the more I help them, the more I see that I'm falling behind. The more I give my strength to others, the less I can do to push myself forward, to surpass the odds set before me.

I... I don't think I'm being selfish by wanting to go farther.

Am I jealous? Jealous that Hoshi and Jean are both such great duelists, such successful people, whereas I've stagnated for so long?

Maybe I am. I'm not sure.

I know that I'm proud of how far both of them have come... but... I want to protect them.. but at the same time... I know I can't, if I don't move forward, if I don't use that energy to better myself.

But what will happen to them whilst I create my own future, forge ahead as myself? Will they be harmed? Will I lose touch with them?

...I don't want to lose them, I can't lose them. I won't let myself. Even if I had to be torn to pieces, beaten down, and tortured till I was barely alive, I'd still go on.

But... how far is too far to go?

No. Why am I even thinking that!? There shouldn't be a limit to how far I'd go for either of them.

But...at the same time, I feel like I'm getting close to that limit. To the point where my body, my mind, my soul, won't go any farther than that.

....I don't know when that is, but I hope I don't hit it.

I'm so proud of both Jean and Hoshi, and I wish I could go that far, push myself to what limits they have, torturing their mind and body.

...After the new school year starts, I'm going to devote myself to getting stronger. Surpassing my own limits, not breaking under any pressure.... I have to get stronger.

I have to.

...Hey, guys?

Considering our track record on the island..

Is it safe to assume we can stay out of this one? Please?

Okay, so, going to study some more, lots more. Exams are coming up and I hope to ace them... lesse... my weakest point is probably Deck Construction, so I'll start with that.

[Filtered to Chronos-sensei]

Um, Chronos-sensei? I have a favor to ask.

If it's not too much trouble, can you send Hoshi's work down to my room? She's currently injured and has been overexerting herself for the past couple of days, which is definitely not good with Exams coming up and all. Unfortunately, she can't be moved down to the infirmary due to circumstance, so I'm taking care of her down here in my room.

[End Filter to Chronos-sensei]

[Filter to Desdemona-san]

You said you wanted to talk to Hoshi in person, right?