[Private Event]

[becomeanwarrior]

[A Ten Ton Straw On A Camel's Back]

OR

[The Light Of Reason Flickers In The Eye Of The Storm]

OR

[Madness Enhancement Is A Skill That Renders Most Forms Of Communication Impossible]

OR

['Anger 2' In E Minor]

---

[ A series of vignettes in which Onni reacts about as well as anyone would to finding out their niece nearly died three weeks ago, is claiming to ascend to the status of a mad god, and every fear they had about her burgeoning powers they specifically warned her parents about has come true, all at once.

This is fine. ]

Comments

[blackrthanblack]

I'm mocking you and your stupid dork titles, you idiot! And the other Kamala decided she wanted those friends with her!

... What are you supposed to do about a God you're designed to create.

::Laughs, a bit brokenly.::

[theheadmonarch]

What am I supposed to do, stop everything when the entire world wants to kill her and I trying to carve out some space for her!?

"Look honey, I hugged you, but because I did, now there's a Hero's Army ready to kill you and parade your corpse, but I gave you a hug".

That's what I'm getting here!

I can't win!

::Whiiiiiine.::

[becomeanwarrior]

Jeez, you're such a buzzkill when it comes to having to actually beat some sense into your other self...

[ Exhales, sagging and slumps against a wall. ]

See, that's what I'm talkin' about. Sure, maybe your job is to guide Kamala to a proper apotheosis, but isn't what's happening here kind of going against the ideals of the god you want her to be? You're not a robot out of an Asimov book, Barbs.

Someone else besides me shoulda been doing something and now we're all cooking in this mess together. I don't give one damn about divinity — my niece is in trouble and if you can't do anything, I plan to give her a damn stern talkin' to.

[ancient_prophecy]

What are you supposed to do, putting my wife's whining aside.

You and everyone else has their ears plugged.

Do you think "The Most Beloved Child In All Of Creation" is just a fancy title?

And yes I am a robot, a tool for the god born of the child I was never supposed to have.

::Laughs coldly.::

[becomeanwarrior]

Claiming you have no agency because you're a 'tool' is just abdicating responsibility in another way, you know...

[ He's just gonna slump down until he's sitting against the wall. He still seems. Off-kilter. But a little less so. ]

You have free will to some degree, so you're not a robot. And a parent is also supposed to guide their child to apotheosis, in a manner of speaking, y'know. If you have the will to think, you have enough selfhood to understand that the rules you find yourself bound by always have loopholes — I can't believe I'm the one explaining this.

As for what I'm supposed to do. I dunno. I'll probably try to talk her down while she tries to kill me. Wouldn't be the first time I've had to deal with an obstinate redhead who's out for my blood.

...But she needs her family to come in and hug her and remind her that she's loved beyond being the "Most Beloved Child In All Of Creation". It's one thing when that love is a promise to her by her destiny or whatever, that makes it feel unearned, like she is only loved because of the god she's supposed to become.

She needs her parents to be willing to love her enough to step in and set the boundaries that a child deserves, and not expect her to take on so much responsibility before she's even in high school.

[theheadmonarch]

...

Shiyoko slash Barbie's point is.

She's gained the ultimate key to freedom.

It's. Hard to stop someone who can go anywhere, any wasn't, any could be.

Stopping her now is extremely difficult. I do love her, Onni, but. I also need to do so much to a universe designed to kill a foreign intruder, and a God that seeks to turn her into hamburger or the victim of a morality play that spins forever.

There's.

Only so many plates.

[becomeanwarrior]

Well, you could have explained that from the start. She might have ultimate freedom, but.

[ Finally pulls himself back to his feet. ]

I've spent quite a long time devising ways to trap the untrappable. If I have to use them to get Kamala in a space where she doesn't hurt herself or others, and we can ground her properly, then I will.

...You know, a simple "Onni, I don't know how to control my unruly daughter with a skeleton key to reality, can you PLEAAAAASE help" wouldn't have gone amiss. And would have been better for my sanity than letting her stew in her own teenage anger for three weeks.

Because I am here to help these messes keep from spiraling. I like solving problems. I like making sure my family is happy.

I just feel like you've really taken advantage of me for a little while while you expected me to be cool with how much you've kept me in the dark. And I get you couldn't trust me with your coup, but downplaying how serious Kamala's tantrum was sticks in my craw.

[ Pouts. ]

Shiyoko might not agree but I'm just as much a factor in helping raising her as you two are, at this point, so I don't feel good being cut out.

[theheadmonarch]

She didn't need to be controlled until three weeks ago when something happened to her. And I was trying to be a non judgemental mother and let her come home of her own accord.

And I didn't want you in the loop because you had too many plates spinning! You deserve a break, you nimrod!

::Flapping her arms.::

[becomeanwarrior]

Not knowing what's going on only adds to my stress, you airhead!

[ Waving his arms. ]

My entire schtick is using reason and knowledge to banish the unknowing, malevolent darkness! My entire job is about using knowledge to protect people and discover the truth of the problems plaguing the city!

Of course I would want to know if my niece was in serious trouble! I'm sure someone warned you I was gonna blow a gasket over you keeping it secret!

[theheadmonarch]

I don't... didn't think she was in serious trouble, just angry!

Fourteen year old girls are moody and stupid! And she's acting out like some embarrassing 8th grader!

And I thought people were exaggerating.

[blackrthanblack]

::Sighs, shaking her hair.::

Besides, Akae and Sadame are already assigned to this case.



What else do you expect to add. And what happens to Kamala is up to me and me alone.

[becomeanwarrior]

Her Seal of Darkness broke before her Seal of Glory! How's that not a capital-p Problem! Isn't she your Dark Signer!? Shouldn't you have sensed something!?

[ Has flash stepped over and is now shaking you comically, Noriko. ]

She's an all-powerful eighth grader! That's the worst kind of trouble!

[ He then lets you go and looks back over at Shiyoko. ]

...Shiyoko. We are going to have a long, long talk about this when I'm in a better headspace to do so. But.

Kamala needs my help, so I'm in fact going to be pitching in, here. Don't think I won't wrestle you down over it.

[theheadmonarch]

::Shake shake shaken.::

... Oh right I'm a God. And all powerful is overblowing it...

[blackrthanblack]

::Putting her glasses back on.::

And what do you expect to add, Kaptain Kangaroo?

[the_deadlights]

::Meanwhile, Noriko (Another) and her ice cream have nearly snuck out of the room.::

[becomeanwarrior]

HOW DID YOU FORGET YOU WERE A GOD.

[ SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE. He's shaking himself more than Noriko right now, really... ]

...Oh, right. A plan. Well.

I'm basically indestructible, so I figured I was gonna let her wail on me a bit.

While trying to talk her down from being an obstinate tween who wants to quit school and become a dark god and remind her she's loved, because I'm pretty sure she still respects me despite having the mother of all tantrums.

...And then maybe use one of my Different Dimension Capsules to teleport her to a really nicely furnished OOPARTS holding cell so we could in fact try and get her to calm down and all give her a hug together without her trying to get away.

And while I'm doing that, she- [ Big Ace Attorney style point at the fleeing Noriko Another. ] Can work on her charades routine that she told me she needs to do in order to tell me the things the geas can't so that we can start planning for dealing with God-Empress Suzume.

'zat about cover it?

[theheadmonarch]

Because I don't like thinking about it because then I start seeing everyone but Souha, Kamala, Aisling and Sumiho as ants to be crushed and controlled, or pets to be yanked.

::Shaken.::

[the_deadlights]

I mean I would but the vibes right now are horrendous.

[becomeanwarrior]

Those are reasonable reasons not to want to think about it! But still!

[ ...He's not even really shaking you anymore, Noriko, more rocking back and forth as he grips onto your shoulders. ]

You're going to have to live with the bad vibes, other-'cuz. Cause I'm only just starting to work through uh, whatever this is. A long-needed respite from the chains I willingly wear? A complete lapse in sensibility? Total madness finally gripping me after staving it off for over a decade?

But. Uh. I guess I can leave. If you need me to leave so you two can work. I would really like us to start moving on it, y'know. Soon. Ish. So I can finish restructuring Sector Security.

...And take a vacation. Have I mentioned I needed a vacation for like, months?

[theheadmonarch]

Then put in a request, you nimrod! And have yourself approve it as you're your own boss!

::Her chest idly wobbling as you do.::

At least you can have one!

[becomeanwarrior]

I can't have one until I've solved all the cases! That's what I'm trying to tell you!

I feel too much responsibility to just duck out at this point! So I have to finish all these plates I'm juggling first!

[theheadmonarch]

There's no end to cases, you dumbass! And then you'll find a new plate and never stop spinning plates!

[becomeanwarrior]

There's an end to these cases! And then I can rest! For a bit!

But until there is you're stuck with me like this!

[theheadmonarch]

And those cases will spawn new sub cases and those will spawn even more cases!

You're a workaholic!

At least I hate my job!

[becomeanwarrior]

[ Stops shaking you. ]

Okay, yes, fine, I'm a workaholic. But I swear once we're clear of this mess of stupid cases. I have a restructuring plan that will cut down on the work I have to do immensely.

Which is why I want us to deal with the stupid bird yokai. And Suzume. And Kamala throwing a tantum. And Echo. And the Otherworlders.

Because once those are done and I can finally finish my transition and then take a FRIGGIN' VACATION.